Tidally-locked Memes

The haircut literally resembles the narrow habitable zone of a tidally-locked exoplanet—that thin strip between eternal scorching daylight and freezing darkness where liquid water might exist. Astronomers spend decades searching for these cosmic Goldilocks zones, only for this guy to wear one on his head. The barber understood the assignment with surgical precision. Next time I publish in The Astrophysical Journal , I'm using this as my author photo.