Passive voice Memes

Scientists spend years mastering complex methodologies only to spend even more years arguing about whether to write "we collected samples" or "samples were collected." The passive-aggressive voice is particularly effective for peer review comments. "The manuscript was read. Revisions are suggested. Strongly." Meanwhile, every lab has that one postdoc who writes exclusively in haiku. The conspiracy voice is reserved for when your grant gets rejected for the third time and you start suspecting the NSF has a personal vendetta against your research on tardigrade mating habits.