Near-miss Memes

The cosmic hands of denial won't save us! 500,000 kilometers might sound like a safe distance, but that's actually closer than the Moon (384,400 km away). In astronomical terms, that's like a bullet passing through your cosmic hair. The space vest isn't just fashion—it's irony incarnate. "Don't worry, we're FINE," says the astrophysicist while internally calculating our extinction probability. Next time NASA says "close approach," just remember this is space-speak for "technically missed us but let's not talk about how statistically terrifying that actually was."

The cosmic near-miss celebration is strong with this one! NASA mission control room erupting in joy because an asteroid missed Earth by a completely made-up unit of measurement ("gabogotrillion miles") is peak scientific humor. What's even better is using a Jeep Grand Cherokee as the standard unit of asteroid size—because apparently the metric system wasn't random enough. Scientists really do get excited about things not killing us all, but the absurd specificity of "9.26 gabogotrillion" takes this from standard near-miss relief to comedy gold. Next time you survive an apocalypse by an SUV-length, you too can hug your colleagues this enthusiastically!