Citation-metrics Memes

Nothing says academic confidence like giving yourself a medal for your own work! When researchers cite themselves, it's basically the scholarly equivalent of high-fiving your own reflection. "As per my previous brilliant publication (also me, 2022)..." The publish-or-perish culture has created this beautiful ecosystem where self-citation is both frowned upon AND necessary for career survival. Next level move: Creating an entire reference list that's just different papers you wrote, formatted slightly differently each time. That's not padding your CV—that's "establishing a research trajectory."